And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
