What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
