Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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