Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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