I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
