I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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