he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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