It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
