Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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