the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
