I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
