bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
