Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
