I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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