How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
