Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
