You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
