She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
