come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
