I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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