just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
