Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you didnt know i had herpes?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
