This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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