You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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