shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
