You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
