So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
