Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
