great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
