Where is the hickey?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
