I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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