The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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