K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
