why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
