Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
