I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
