great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
