there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
