Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
