I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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