My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
