I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
