Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
