I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
