you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
