By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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