Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
