Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
