saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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