There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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